In the book, Igor kills several people to get his wife back but at the end he is still alone. Maybe the meaning is that we are made to be, in our secret world, always alone?
I have always feared to be alone and after lot of changes in my life I find myself alone. It is not the end of the world, it is just a matter of being aware of the fact that you can count only on yourself.
I have friends and some of them are very important. But I am not their first priority. Everyone is is own first priority and tonight I realized that I can not base my mood on someone else presence / feedbacks / feelings.
I have my books to read, my dreams to realize, my toughts in mind, my interests. And I like all of them. I have something great to share but I am not desperately looking for someone to share with. Not anymore.
5 comments:
you are not looking...that is an achievement. I wish I could say the same..I have so much to share and so desperately needing to share! :(
I am still looking of course - but I can survive without.
I know what I can share and I do it sometimes. There are people who understand what is the value of those things for me and some other seems not to care that much. Since the things I wanna share are precious, I decided this is not for everyone.
It is kind of easy to share things here. Noodles is not my name and almost nobody knows who I am. In real life, there are people I wanna show the real myself and some other to whom I do not really care.
In the past my secret world has been for everybody but it is not the case anymore.
Both you and I are putting here very personal things. Maybe it is becasue, despite my words, we both desperately need to share?
That is my point...you say you don't want to share, but then you have a personal blog, called my secret world...probably what we need is just a mirror to avoid to admit that we need to share, but actually sharing through this mirror. I don't think you can decide not to share, I think you can become choosy, yes, but if you need to share you have to find a way, if you are desperate for sharing and life proved you that not everyone can take what you share, well maybe a blog like this is an alibi....
What do you mean with "alibi"?
With this blog I am sharing something that might be personal. But I am not in the spotlight. I can walk in the middle of lot of people knowing that I have my secret. And this is something I like.
I like the image of having something hidden that the rest of the world can not touch. At the end, only a few people are reading here. And they might be people I trust a lot or people interested in those topics. If an indefinite you is looking for "latest news on gossip", he might click on the "next" button not caring what I put here!
^_^
Well, I do not really care if people who read my blog know who I am, I also put my pics there as you might have noticed. I probably am much more of an exhibitionist, I think a lot, write a lot, I am in a certain way proud of being able to write down whatever I feel or I reason about...it is not a secret world for me, it is just my way of sharing and yelling to the world what I have inside, given that no always people out there are able to listen to me or willing to do so...
therefore, it could be that we share the need to share, but probably you need a place in shadow and I actually don't care to expose or not :)
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