Sometimes people have a dream.
And sometimes this dream is bigger than being with someone - even if this someone is great.
If you are this specific someone, you have to respect the dream first.
--
Sent from a tiny keyboard
Please ignore typos unless they are funny
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
A red dress fading in distant lights
The lady with the red dress arrived in a sunny and warm day of June.
The lady with the red dress left in a foggy and cold night of December end.
I tought being far away one from the other was a way to keep everything hibernated. I have been so stupid.
I kind of kept myself in the same position, closing my eyes to not see the reality.
She is kind, nice and beautiful as she has always been. She is 10 years younger than me but tonight she looked like the experienced one.
"I would do again everything I did back in July. But not now. In a week I will leave again, I can not afford to suffer as I did in August and September"
Not a single kiss. But she did smell the same as in July. Her eyes were perfect and so full of lights as they used to be. Her body was an amazing symphony of tendreness.
She arrived in my life like a shooting star. She has left a trail of magic behind her. And everything she brought to my life is like a white gift. I am thankfull for every moment I have spent with her and every word she brought to my mind.
She almost litterally saved me in July. I was broken in 157 pieces, she sorted out all of the pieces and put the plate together again.
Tonight, since she is so incredibly sweet and sensitive, she reminded me that she did a big job to put the pieces together and I should not allow anyone - not even her - to break the plate again.
The plate is there. Yes, it is a sad plate, but it is complete. And it is complete just because of her.
Someone told me that she is my soulmate. And being a soulmate of someones does not mean you are meant to be together.
For sure she has been able to see very very deep into myself. And for some unknown reason I did allow her to enter so deep.
And, hard to beliave I know, but I am happy I did. Because she did not go in the middle with dirty boots trying to destroy everything. She went there flying, stroking everything she could find, taking care of everything, filling holes and putting together pieces when needed. And I only have to thank for her presence.
She is much more far-sighted than me. She look beyond tomorrow and decides for the best. I just miss her lips so much. I just miss the way she laugh, the way she talks, the way she spend 10 minutes just to decide what she would like to have for dinner.
The way she looks at me when I say something naugthy and she wants to calm me down.
The way she is able to make me feel protected.
The way she is able to make me feel CLEAN.
I miss her, all together.
The plate is there because of you. Please never doubt this. Never. And "hate" is not a word I can associate to you. Never. I understand your point, just allow me to me sad.
I hope to see you soon before you leave again for the other part of the world.
In one way or the other, I am yours. Maybe not as we tought a few months ago but I am yours. And not for a joke.
The lady with the red dress left in a foggy and cold night of December end.
I tought being far away one from the other was a way to keep everything hibernated. I have been so stupid.
I kind of kept myself in the same position, closing my eyes to not see the reality.
She is kind, nice and beautiful as she has always been. She is 10 years younger than me but tonight she looked like the experienced one.
"I would do again everything I did back in July. But not now. In a week I will leave again, I can not afford to suffer as I did in August and September"
Not a single kiss. But she did smell the same as in July. Her eyes were perfect and so full of lights as they used to be. Her body was an amazing symphony of tendreness.
She arrived in my life like a shooting star. She has left a trail of magic behind her. And everything she brought to my life is like a white gift. I am thankfull for every moment I have spent with her and every word she brought to my mind.
She almost litterally saved me in July. I was broken in 157 pieces, she sorted out all of the pieces and put the plate together again.
Tonight, since she is so incredibly sweet and sensitive, she reminded me that she did a big job to put the pieces together and I should not allow anyone - not even her - to break the plate again.
The plate is there. Yes, it is a sad plate, but it is complete. And it is complete just because of her.
Someone told me that she is my soulmate. And being a soulmate of someones does not mean you are meant to be together.
For sure she has been able to see very very deep into myself. And for some unknown reason I did allow her to enter so deep.
And, hard to beliave I know, but I am happy I did. Because she did not go in the middle with dirty boots trying to destroy everything. She went there flying, stroking everything she could find, taking care of everything, filling holes and putting together pieces when needed. And I only have to thank for her presence.
She is much more far-sighted than me. She look beyond tomorrow and decides for the best. I just miss her lips so much. I just miss the way she laugh, the way she talks, the way she spend 10 minutes just to decide what she would like to have for dinner.
The way she looks at me when I say something naugthy and she wants to calm me down.
The way she is able to make me feel protected.
The way she is able to make me feel CLEAN.
I miss her, all together.
The plate is there because of you. Please never doubt this. Never. And "hate" is not a word I can associate to you. Never. I understand your point, just allow me to me sad.
I hope to see you soon before you leave again for the other part of the world.
In one way or the other, I am yours. Maybe not as we tought a few months ago but I am yours. And not for a joke.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Christmas melancholy
The small market, the lights, the cakes, the sweets, the sparkling wine. All of those stuff used to be lovely.
You used to love to complain about the long time spent freezing in the street market because she wanted to see any bench. You could say that they did look all the same, that the products are always the same and that there is nothing new there. But she kept walking on each one smiling to the owner because she was able to find something good there.
The lights were so nice because she could tell you that this year the lights are better than the previous year or just different. For you they always look the same but she could tell that something has changed.
The cakes and the sweet are something that make your hands dirty. But she used to eat them laughing because you did not want to get your hands dirty so it was lovely to have her kidding for half an hour about that.
The wine is still good. You love wine. Now you understand lot more about the wine, you can tell if it is a champenoise or a traditional. You can tell the difference between a one made with Pinot Noir or Riesling. But you do not care that much because you can not share.
Share is the keyword.
Share is what used to make Christmas so nice.
Share is the real mean of a relationship.
And now you have no one you can or want to share with. And it really sucks.
All you want is to get hibernated and wake up on Jan, 7th. Any chance to get it?
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