Alessandra was one of those girl that are always smiling, changing suddenly in a terrible mood because you said or did something wrong. But the was "my girl" and she has been for a little while.
We could not show to the rest of the world and another guy was in love with her. But he never succeeded, or at least this is what I have always tought.
We used to spend afternoons playing volleyball. And I remember I was always trying to have the ball to fall in the cellar so we could go down to look for the ball and kiss each other. It was not a real kiss, it was just lips against lips, open eyes, in a funny attitude. But I remember my heart beating like the drum at the end of "In the air tonight". It was so cool, even if I could not understand completely why in the movies the actors were so excited about kisses.
I used to have a small fantasy at that time, when going to sleep. I was dreaming of being with her in a field somewhere in the mountains. And we used to have a tent in that field where we could spend the night.
And the tent was a kind of "secret world".
In the open-eyes dream we could be in the tent together. It was just a matter of fasten the zip and the world outside did not exist. The zip was our door to the rest of the world and we could decide to open or to close it.
I remember myself laying on my bed with my brother talking but I was invisible. I was under the tent and nothing could touch me. And in my fantasy, she was with me, in a perfect world. And the animals, the people, the rain outside... they simply did not exist.
Tonight, we have lot of rain here. From my bed I can hear perfectly the sweet sound of the rain coming down. The rain is beating against the window, tic tic tic tic...
I closed the outside window before, so tomorrow morning I can sleep a few minutes more with no light waking me up. And when I closed I could feel the rain.
And this old childhood fantasy came back, like the smell of coffee in my grand-mother kitchen.
Where is Alessandra now? According to a Facebook friend she is married and she has a lovely baby.
She did what she was meant to do.
And where am I?
2 comments:
Where are you?
You are in some place where you can still hld back memories of years ago because of the rain or the coffee or whatever epyphany you can get.
The thing is she never was in the tent with you, you pictured her there, exactly as you could do now if you forgot about reality for a while.
And I think the memory you hold close, painted with childish attitude and dreams is the more beautiful because it can show you how little, in dreaming, you have changed. And that, my dear Noodle, is something you should treasure, cause it doesn't matter she is married or with child and you feel as upside as before. You can still remember your dreams and face them, if you know whta I mean (this morning I am tired already.... :))
Wow - what a comment Anna...
Thanks, thank you very much.
Noodles.
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