"E' per te questo bacio nel vento
Te lo manderò li con almeno altri cento
é per te forse non sará molto
La tua storia lo so meritava piú ascolto
E magari chi sa se io avessi saputo
Avrei dato un aiuto
Ma che importa oramai? Ora che...
Puoi prendere per la coda una cometa
E girando per l'universo te ne vai
Puoi raggiungere forse adesso la tua meta
Quel mondo diverso che non trovavi mai
Solo che non doveva andar cosi
Solo che tutti siamo un po' più soli qui
E' per te questo fiore che ho scelto
Te lo lasceró lí sotto un cielo coperto
Mentre guardó lassu sta passando novembre
E tu hai vent'anni per sempre"
I think this song has been written for someone who is not in this world anymore.
Of course this is not your case but this song is your song. This song is our song and every time I listen to it I can help crying going back to that wonderful time we have spent together.
This song arrived in our life half an hour before saying good bye. It was written in a wall in a bar and I will never forget your face looking at me while writing it down. You told me "do you know the song?". I did but at that point I could not remember it.
And after a few minutes we told good bye. It has been short and very strong and please, please, believe me. It has been real.
Maybe we are not meant to it. But for the short time, I was happy. I realized just after what kind of gift I got from the Universe.
We might meet other people and probably we will get married to someone else. One day. But inside my heart, in the deep of my heart, I know what kind of magic we lived together and this is not something easy to forget. And I do not want to.
And now, months later, I find myself in a plane crying because the feeling is so strong. And I am grateful, because you did show to me that beauty can be just around the corned. If you just let it to hit you. If you just look.
I told you "te quiero" under that wonderful sky full of stars. It was true. And please don't forget it. Never.
I won't either.
Have a wonderful life and reach all of your dreams. I will take care of you, even if from far away probably.
--
Sent from a tiny keyboard
Please ignore typos unless they are funny
Monday, January 24, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Lady Lagavulin
Lady Lagavulin is amazing.
She is tall, with high heels and long legs.
She is 10cm taller than myself wihtout shoes. But more than anything else, she has two wonderful, brillant, amazing blue eyes.
Her smile can bring you to the deep or heaven in a second if she decides to.
She is with an insignificant, stupid and rude young guy.
She looks at him with a glance full of love. He is really ugly.
From the first glass of wine to the last glass of Lagavulin she kept getting better and better. He kept getting worst and worst.
But at the end he wins. He can spend a night with a diamond. He might not notice how she is pure and rare. But he wins anyway.
Fuck!
(Noodles after a long and full-of-wine dinner. Nice restaurant, sad thoughts)
She is tall, with high heels and long legs.
She is 10cm taller than myself wihtout shoes. But more than anything else, she has two wonderful, brillant, amazing blue eyes.
Her smile can bring you to the deep or heaven in a second if she decides to.
She is with an insignificant, stupid and rude young guy.
She looks at him with a glance full of love. He is really ugly.
From the first glass of wine to the last glass of Lagavulin she kept getting better and better. He kept getting worst and worst.
But at the end he wins. He can spend a night with a diamond. He might not notice how she is pure and rare. But he wins anyway.
Fuck!
(Noodles after a long and full-of-wine dinner. Nice restaurant, sad thoughts)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Thought of the day
Sometimes people have a dream.
And sometimes this dream is bigger than being with someone - even if this someone is great.
If you are this specific someone, you have to respect the dream first.
--
Sent from a tiny keyboard
Please ignore typos unless they are funny
And sometimes this dream is bigger than being with someone - even if this someone is great.
If you are this specific someone, you have to respect the dream first.
--
Sent from a tiny keyboard
Please ignore typos unless they are funny
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
A red dress fading in distant lights
The lady with the red dress arrived in a sunny and warm day of June.
The lady with the red dress left in a foggy and cold night of December end.
I tought being far away one from the other was a way to keep everything hibernated. I have been so stupid.
I kind of kept myself in the same position, closing my eyes to not see the reality.
She is kind, nice and beautiful as she has always been. She is 10 years younger than me but tonight she looked like the experienced one.
"I would do again everything I did back in July. But not now. In a week I will leave again, I can not afford to suffer as I did in August and September"
Not a single kiss. But she did smell the same as in July. Her eyes were perfect and so full of lights as they used to be. Her body was an amazing symphony of tendreness.
She arrived in my life like a shooting star. She has left a trail of magic behind her. And everything she brought to my life is like a white gift. I am thankfull for every moment I have spent with her and every word she brought to my mind.
She almost litterally saved me in July. I was broken in 157 pieces, she sorted out all of the pieces and put the plate together again.
Tonight, since she is so incredibly sweet and sensitive, she reminded me that she did a big job to put the pieces together and I should not allow anyone - not even her - to break the plate again.
The plate is there. Yes, it is a sad plate, but it is complete. And it is complete just because of her.
Someone told me that she is my soulmate. And being a soulmate of someones does not mean you are meant to be together.
For sure she has been able to see very very deep into myself. And for some unknown reason I did allow her to enter so deep.
And, hard to beliave I know, but I am happy I did. Because she did not go in the middle with dirty boots trying to destroy everything. She went there flying, stroking everything she could find, taking care of everything, filling holes and putting together pieces when needed. And I only have to thank for her presence.
She is much more far-sighted than me. She look beyond tomorrow and decides for the best. I just miss her lips so much. I just miss the way she laugh, the way she talks, the way she spend 10 minutes just to decide what she would like to have for dinner.
The way she looks at me when I say something naugthy and she wants to calm me down.
The way she is able to make me feel protected.
The way she is able to make me feel CLEAN.
I miss her, all together.
The plate is there because of you. Please never doubt this. Never. And "hate" is not a word I can associate to you. Never. I understand your point, just allow me to me sad.
I hope to see you soon before you leave again for the other part of the world.
In one way or the other, I am yours. Maybe not as we tought a few months ago but I am yours. And not for a joke.
The lady with the red dress left in a foggy and cold night of December end.
I tought being far away one from the other was a way to keep everything hibernated. I have been so stupid.
I kind of kept myself in the same position, closing my eyes to not see the reality.
She is kind, nice and beautiful as she has always been. She is 10 years younger than me but tonight she looked like the experienced one.
"I would do again everything I did back in July. But not now. In a week I will leave again, I can not afford to suffer as I did in August and September"
Not a single kiss. But she did smell the same as in July. Her eyes were perfect and so full of lights as they used to be. Her body was an amazing symphony of tendreness.
She arrived in my life like a shooting star. She has left a trail of magic behind her. And everything she brought to my life is like a white gift. I am thankfull for every moment I have spent with her and every word she brought to my mind.
She almost litterally saved me in July. I was broken in 157 pieces, she sorted out all of the pieces and put the plate together again.
Tonight, since she is so incredibly sweet and sensitive, she reminded me that she did a big job to put the pieces together and I should not allow anyone - not even her - to break the plate again.
The plate is there. Yes, it is a sad plate, but it is complete. And it is complete just because of her.
Someone told me that she is my soulmate. And being a soulmate of someones does not mean you are meant to be together.
For sure she has been able to see very very deep into myself. And for some unknown reason I did allow her to enter so deep.
And, hard to beliave I know, but I am happy I did. Because she did not go in the middle with dirty boots trying to destroy everything. She went there flying, stroking everything she could find, taking care of everything, filling holes and putting together pieces when needed. And I only have to thank for her presence.
She is much more far-sighted than me. She look beyond tomorrow and decides for the best. I just miss her lips so much. I just miss the way she laugh, the way she talks, the way she spend 10 minutes just to decide what she would like to have for dinner.
The way she looks at me when I say something naugthy and she wants to calm me down.
The way she is able to make me feel protected.
The way she is able to make me feel CLEAN.
I miss her, all together.
The plate is there because of you. Please never doubt this. Never. And "hate" is not a word I can associate to you. Never. I understand your point, just allow me to me sad.
I hope to see you soon before you leave again for the other part of the world.
In one way or the other, I am yours. Maybe not as we tought a few months ago but I am yours. And not for a joke.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Christmas melancholy
The small market, the lights, the cakes, the sweets, the sparkling wine. All of those stuff used to be lovely.
You used to love to complain about the long time spent freezing in the street market because she wanted to see any bench. You could say that they did look all the same, that the products are always the same and that there is nothing new there. But she kept walking on each one smiling to the owner because she was able to find something good there.
The lights were so nice because she could tell you that this year the lights are better than the previous year or just different. For you they always look the same but she could tell that something has changed.
The cakes and the sweet are something that make your hands dirty. But she used to eat them laughing because you did not want to get your hands dirty so it was lovely to have her kidding for half an hour about that.
The wine is still good. You love wine. Now you understand lot more about the wine, you can tell if it is a champenoise or a traditional. You can tell the difference between a one made with Pinot Noir or Riesling. But you do not care that much because you can not share.
Share is the keyword.
Share is what used to make Christmas so nice.
Share is the real mean of a relationship.
And now you have no one you can or want to share with. And it really sucks.
All you want is to get hibernated and wake up on Jan, 7th. Any chance to get it?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
London Airport and a sleepless night
The London Airport is huge. Lot of people travelling there. Lot of stories arriving and leaving. And I have always had a love and hate relationship with this airport.
Everytime I have been here my heart was not calm. Something was going on.
This time is not different. I could see the rain beating against the lounge window and behind that I could see planes moving, arriving, leaving. Planes full of people. For some unknown and unfathomable reason we were all together in the same place.
Everyone with his own pains, dreams and desires.
The last time I have been there my heart was full of hope for the future. I was dreaming a different life, in a different place, with a specific person.
Now, after six months, my feeling was quite different. It was like when you are turning a point of non-return. I have lost faith in lot of things, I have lost faith in love or at least in the pure love I had in my mind - with a childhood attitude that is not the one a guy should have at my age.
I vividly remember the same lounge when I was describing what I could see.
Today this did not make any sense.
Today I was sitting in an elegant leather chair, drinking a beer with my hands close to my mouth in a way that it looks like I was praying. And people was passing by. I was looking to all of them to try to find what they have in mind, what they were thinking.
A couple of young guys arrived. She was cute. He was elegant and gentle with her. I was looking at them like someone who does not believe anymore in what they are doing. No movement on my face, an icy look to anything around me because I do not care anymore.
Why am I here? I came for business and I have spent, litteraly, the last 36 hours with no sleep and with a single idea in my mind. I look nice, gentle and elegant as usual but you can find only a plain of ice deep inside me.
I am pretty sure this will end up. Sooner or later. Maybe sooner. But it is a weird feeling to see Christmas things around and realizing that you are totally alone in this world.
Alone because I am keep myself away from anything that can lead to any risk. I prefer to avoid any kiss even if I am in the mood. I talk about anything but serious things with any person I get out with. And I end up dreaming in my own secret world because the real world is too risky and dangerous.
I have spent the last night looking outside the hotel window. I could see the lights of the houses reflected in the Thames. And a brillant moon in the sky. I think I have spent more than two hours just looking outside as I could not sleep. And at some point the room was too warm and I had to feel a bit of air in the balcony.
All of this to realize that I did follow my heart and it did not work out. I realized that people always try to do their best to achieve the best for them and / or for the person they do care of. But sometimes this is not enough because people are not mathematical equation and rationality is not something that really matters in love.
No anger, no blame to anyone. Just awareness.
So I fly home with tears in my eyes because I can see the Eiffel Tower from the plane and I remember when I came to London the first time, almost 6 years ago. It was the first business trip. Lot of water under the bridges. Lot of new things arrived. Good ones and bad ones. As someone used to say, if this is the way it went it is because it was the best possible way. I just need to have faith. I have to.
Everytime I have been here my heart was not calm. Something was going on.
This time is not different. I could see the rain beating against the lounge window and behind that I could see planes moving, arriving, leaving. Planes full of people. For some unknown and unfathomable reason we were all together in the same place.
Everyone with his own pains, dreams and desires.
The last time I have been there my heart was full of hope for the future. I was dreaming a different life, in a different place, with a specific person.
Now, after six months, my feeling was quite different. It was like when you are turning a point of non-return. I have lost faith in lot of things, I have lost faith in love or at least in the pure love I had in my mind - with a childhood attitude that is not the one a guy should have at my age.
I vividly remember the same lounge when I was describing what I could see.
Today this did not make any sense.
Today I was sitting in an elegant leather chair, drinking a beer with my hands close to my mouth in a way that it looks like I was praying. And people was passing by. I was looking to all of them to try to find what they have in mind, what they were thinking.
A couple of young guys arrived. She was cute. He was elegant and gentle with her. I was looking at them like someone who does not believe anymore in what they are doing. No movement on my face, an icy look to anything around me because I do not care anymore.
Why am I here? I came for business and I have spent, litteraly, the last 36 hours with no sleep and with a single idea in my mind. I look nice, gentle and elegant as usual but you can find only a plain of ice deep inside me.
I am pretty sure this will end up. Sooner or later. Maybe sooner. But it is a weird feeling to see Christmas things around and realizing that you are totally alone in this world.
Alone because I am keep myself away from anything that can lead to any risk. I prefer to avoid any kiss even if I am in the mood. I talk about anything but serious things with any person I get out with. And I end up dreaming in my own secret world because the real world is too risky and dangerous.
I have spent the last night looking outside the hotel window. I could see the lights of the houses reflected in the Thames. And a brillant moon in the sky. I think I have spent more than two hours just looking outside as I could not sleep. And at some point the room was too warm and I had to feel a bit of air in the balcony.
All of this to realize that I did follow my heart and it did not work out. I realized that people always try to do their best to achieve the best for them and / or for the person they do care of. But sometimes this is not enough because people are not mathematical equation and rationality is not something that really matters in love.
No anger, no blame to anyone. Just awareness.
So I fly home with tears in my eyes because I can see the Eiffel Tower from the plane and I remember when I came to London the first time, almost 6 years ago. It was the first business trip. Lot of water under the bridges. Lot of new things arrived. Good ones and bad ones. As someone used to say, if this is the way it went it is because it was the best possible way. I just need to have faith. I have to.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The lady with the red dress
Somtimes in life you find yourself in emotional or feeling situations where you can not go down more than where you are. You find yourself in the deep of hell and the only way to get out of it is climbing a very high mountain.
It is not a very attractive place to be. Neither for yourself or the people around you.
Some people tries to climb alone. Some other people are lucky enough or blessed by some other entity to get help.
And at that time the lady with the red dress arrived for me.
An amazing young lady arrived in my life. Short. Fast. Like a flash in the sky.
She arrived with the beauty of being 20 and with the amazing freedom of being 20.
She arrived with a green shirt and two green eyes. Green like a field in April. Full of water. Fresh. Relaxing.
She found me in a deep hole, "broken in 157 small pieces". She started to take all of them and to look at any of them. And, with patient and lovely attitude, she sorted out all of the pieces and put the plate together again.
It is not perfect. You can see the signs in the plate and from time to time one of the pieces fall down.
She has been there for the time strictly required to sort out the 157 pieces. And then, like an angel sent by God, she left when everything started to take off.
It was agreed. She has a bigger and more important dream to follow.
Before leaving I have been tempted to let the plate fall down once again. It was broken again. Not badly broken but it was a shame anyway.
She put the pieces together once again and at the end litterally slapped my face and said: "it took a big effort to fix it. And to fix it again. I gotta leave now, do not allow anyone to break it again".
When I asked "why me" she simply said "becuase you make the difference". I am not 100% sure what she meant.
I look to the Thames tonight in a crazy and endless night. Full of toughts. And I can only think that I have been blessed to be kissed by such an angel. An angel with green eyes and an amazing way of taking care of me.
Noodles
It is not a very attractive place to be. Neither for yourself or the people around you.
Some people tries to climb alone. Some other people are lucky enough or blessed by some other entity to get help.
And at that time the lady with the red dress arrived for me.
An amazing young lady arrived in my life. Short. Fast. Like a flash in the sky.
She arrived with the beauty of being 20 and with the amazing freedom of being 20.
She arrived with a green shirt and two green eyes. Green like a field in April. Full of water. Fresh. Relaxing.
She found me in a deep hole, "broken in 157 small pieces". She started to take all of them and to look at any of them. And, with patient and lovely attitude, she sorted out all of the pieces and put the plate together again.
It is not perfect. You can see the signs in the plate and from time to time one of the pieces fall down.
She has been there for the time strictly required to sort out the 157 pieces. And then, like an angel sent by God, she left when everything started to take off.
It was agreed. She has a bigger and more important dream to follow.
Before leaving I have been tempted to let the plate fall down once again. It was broken again. Not badly broken but it was a shame anyway.
She put the pieces together once again and at the end litterally slapped my face and said: "it took a big effort to fix it. And to fix it again. I gotta leave now, do not allow anyone to break it again".
When I asked "why me" she simply said "becuase you make the difference". I am not 100% sure what she meant.
I look to the Thames tonight in a crazy and endless night. Full of toughts. And I can only think that I have been blessed to be kissed by such an angel. An angel with green eyes and an amazing way of taking care of me.
Noodles
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